Perry Noble, who was fired from his post as senior pastor of NewSpring Church last year because of his alcohol addiction, has confessed that he was close to committing suicide while he was in a rehabilitation facility.
In an emotional Facebook video posted on Sunday, Noble noted that suicide affects a lot of people in America, and he admitted that he was close to taking his own life after he got fired from NewSpring in July last year.
He revealed that he was diagnosed with PTSD while he was in rehab and that his condition stemmed from "some events that went all the way back to when I was molested when I was 6 years old."
The former pastor admitted that he was "absolutely drinking too much," and that the way he tried to cope with his issues led to further problems.
"I did it wrong. I totally messed up. I turned to alcohol as my source," he said, noting that it provided him with a temporary relief.
"When you are in pain, when something is broken, when something is hurting, temporary relief is better than no relief at all," he continued.
Noble noted that he was just offering insight into how he was hurting at the time and maintained that he was not trying to justify his alcohol use.
The former pastor further disclosed that after he was fired from NewSpring, his wife, Lucretia, decided to leave him and took their daughter, Charisse, with her.
"I lose my job, my wife leaves me, and I felt like those closest to me, whether true or not, abandoned me. I couldn't get a return phone all, I just felt alone," he said.
Noble said that after he spent four days in a rehabilitation facility in Arizona, he thought of leaving the clinic and take his own life.
He recounted that he had already picked a gun and the location where he would take his own life, but right before he was going to leave the clinic, he heard God speak to him.
"It was the clearest I've ever heard His voice. He told me 'I'm not finished with you yet,'" he said.
Noble said that it was just what he needed to hear at that moment. He admitted that there was no change in his feelings or his circumstances at the time, but he knew that he was not alone.
The former pastor noted that it has been a year since he thought about taking his own life. He said that while he is still not where he wishes to be in life, there have been some improvements.
He revealed that he is still separated from his wife and he has lost a lot of friends, but he said he learned that God is very faithful.
Noble recounted that even as he felt abandoned and betrayed, he knew that "God is still with me," and told the people who are watching his video that "He is still with you," as well.
In February, Noble preached at Elevation Church with the blessing of his friend and confidante, Steven Furtick. In his sermon, the former pastor said that spending time in rehab was "probably the closest to Hell I've ever been in my life."