Former megachurch pastor Perry Noble has used profanity in a recent social media post to describe how badly he feels about his sins.
In a Facebook post on Oct. 5, Noble stated that he woke up the previous week with the thought "you're a worthless piece of [expletive]!"
The former pastor repeated the phrase numerous times in the Facebook post and refused to exclude the profanity, saying he will not "sanitize this article to appease those who may be offended at the language and want a scrubbed and safe version of Christianity that simply doesn't work for the world!"
Noble was fired from his position at NewSpring Church in Anderson, South Carolina last year due to problems with alcohol abuse.
He told his followers that as the thought entered his mind, he felt "guilt, condemnation and shame," reminding him of his firing and the friendships that he lost.
The former pastor said that the phrase hung over him throughout the day and revealed that he felt a physical pain in his chest, which he initially thought was a heart attack.
He recounted that he tried to "numb the pain" by going to the gym, engaging on social media and having lunch with a friend, but he said he still was not able to "silence the damning accusation that was crushing the life out of me."
Noble said that in the midst of his depression, he suddenly heard God's voice, reminding him of Romans 8:1, which states, "There is now therefore NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
"Finally, I snapped back to reality and remember a phrase I have declared from the pulpit, but have never actually believed for myself, that 'Jesus knew every stupid, sinful, self-centered decision I would ever make, and still created me, called me, equipped me and arranged for the payment of my sin!'" he recounted.
Noble said that he still heard the accusation in his mind when he woke up the next day and admitted that it may never go away, but he noted that he has learned not to believe it and urged others to think differently of themselves as well.
"I am not a 'worthless piece of [expletive]' and neither are you!" he told his followers, adding that he hopes that his experience would help those who are also struggling with the same feelings.
Noble's social media post drew mixed reactions from readers, with some also using profanity to share their own struggles, and others expressing concern about the former pastor's use of profanity while writing about the things of God.
"No wonder this man feels so terrible. He calls himself a pastor but he needs to be saved first. A true child of God can't use such language and serve God," one commenter wrote.
Since his firing from NewSpring, Noble has been working as a church growth consultant and has declared himself sober for nearly a year.
He recently preached his comeback message at Elevation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, and has also been continuing to do preaching engagements at other churches.
However, the leaders at NewSpring Church suggested in July that he may still be biblically unfit to preach at his former church.
In response, Noble insisted that he never met any of the qualifications for leadership at any one time while at NewSpring, and said that he saw the statement as an attack on the churches that invited him to preach.
The former pastor contended that the leadership of NewSpring were not in a good position to make any judgments about his spiritual condition because there is not much of a relationship between him and the leaders of his former church.